EXAMINATION-the painful phenomenon no mortal can make an escape from,the demon that grasps in its sordid clutches every homosapien from an arithmetic jock to the ignoramus sod, the one process whose results are eclectic-from the respect and admiration of peers(ie in case if you are a geek and get stellar marks) to the wrath of parents and teachers akin(on the flip side).And yes,my this post (after a hiatus)is dedicated to this man-made disaster.*Thank you*.Since I just finished my 1st year at college,let me take you thro' the arduous journey of exams a.k.a the local massacre that I(and my breed) survived in the past one year.
The first year classes started off in the month of August,precisely on the 17th.The initial days were ubercool with discovering the motley group of students,making new pals,checking out the campus in general,sauntering over the place-yeah jobless days all right!Even the teachers were pretty much innocuous!Ah,those were the times.
Then came the first salvo,in the form of the 1st Series Exam that was to be held in the month of December.All hell broke loose!Now for the uninitiated ones:series exams carry a decent weightage of your internal marks,which vicariously affect your university marks and thus your fate.Now we've 10 papers,out of which 1 is the workshop and the rest viz-Maths(the only subject where I find some solace),Physics,Chemistry(which horrendously freaks out the shits from anyone!),Graphics(read:sure-to-fail-if-you-are-not-careful subject),Engineering mechanics,Basic Civil Engineering(pha!),Basic Mechanical Engineering(2 of my pals' favourite subject-ahem ahem you know I'm talking about you!),Basic Electrical Engg and last but not the least,Basic Communication and Information engineering.
Now this particular exam being the 1st of its kind, wasn't as disastrous as we expected.The authorities had decided to go easy on us *phew*.And to add icing to the cake,we were even exempted from the woes of the deadly workshop.Now some observations I couldn't help making during the course of the exam were:
1.The answer sheet you get for your series exam is the cheap quality,butter-paper sorta paper which is commonly used for wrapping samosas in sweet shops(ha!some quality they maintain in government instis).
2.The invigilators-some are passive,plain expressionless,insipid and even the rigorous copying and malpractise all over the place fails to elicit the faintest of responses from them.Well now such people are what I call "personae gratae".Then there is the 2nd category-the junta of teachers,with pronounced obnoxious features, whose sole objective is to make the life of their subjects miserable by giving icy cold stares,by handing over the question paper with much relish and in general,are mean for no particular reason.
3.Now this observation involves the students themselves!Here again,there are 4 kinds:
a)The arithmetic jocks/studs : yup!these are the geeks alright!So mad are they about mugging,mugging and more mugging,that the very purpose of their life is to study,write exams and ace all papers(not just arithmetic,but also the other subjects).Question papers produce the same greed and lust in them as an exposed,uncensored copy of Playboy would on ordinary mortals.
b)The extra-pious ones:the saints!such pain they are!The mere words-'copy' or 'cheat' leaves them scandalised,to say the least.Such high scruples they hold,that they all're fit to be contending for the next Swami Sri Sri Ravishankar(not that I'm someone who encourages malpractice;but heck!which teen would like 18-year-old demigods??Besides,a li'l bit of mutual abetting possesses no potential harm.Hmph!!).
c)The ordinary ones:like yours truly,me!Now we are the ones who slough off major fractions of the crap and are adroitly concise in our approach towards the subject(euphemism for skipping majority of the syllabus and cramming in the required chunks only at the ungodly hour) *thank-you*.And we don't give up hope till the last minute;which puts us largely at the mercy of the teachers who check the paper and most importantly,God Almighty(which explains our sporadic piety).
d)The smart alecks-and this category goes without any explanation(hell!you might have seen this sort yourselves!In your own classrooms!).
The 1st series exam was followed by a spasm of activity for our intercollegiate techno-cultural fest Aagneya.Not that we played a major part,but we helped in our own little way and thus the months flew by and then came the next nuclear holocaust in the form of 2nd series exam.Now this one caught us off-guard coz unlike the 1st time,we hadn't an iota of knowledge of any of the subjects!Our heads were point blank!Not having an inkling on what was to be done,again,I and my breed left it to God and let destiny play it's game.
This one passed off as quickly as the 1st one with 2 exams per day and the results ensued shortly.The marks were in retrograde(which goes without mentioning).This one was followed by the much dreaded Worshop models(that was just the trailer to a much macabre scenario that was to follow suit as the "University Workshop Exams").
Then came the mind-numbingly dull,excessively boring,lackadaisical period of STUDY LEAVE!Some leave it was man!Starting from April 1,slogging all the way till the 7th of May,when our university exams were to begin.Not that the hols were a total drag;they were definitely required for the exam preps(but hey,the kinda study leave we got,was too much a test of our endurance).
And thus began the saga of the great KU(Kerala University) exams and we moved on,united,forgetting all differences-en masse.Certain exams like Mathematics,Basic Electrical Engg, were a smooth sail whereas some like Chemistry,were Hiroshima and Nagasaki in paper.I swear there were days when I'd jump out of bed,drenched in sweat,the aftermath of the nightmare going round and round in my head.But as there's an end to every evil,even this vile phenomenon came to an end and the 66 odd undergraduates let out a collective sigh of relief.
The end of the KU exams was followed by an extremely L-O-N-G vacation of T-E-N DAYS!!(Mind you, measly 10 days!!)Appalling or what?!!And to add fuel to the already raging fire,the KU Workshop Exams were to take place before the start of the next sem,ie on the end of our "beautiful" vacation(wonder if the KU people actually conduct research on how to screw their subjects' lives).For the oblivious ones:chronicle has it that the WS exams are conducted only after the start of the next sem and not during our bubble-lived hols.But this time,by a quirk of fate,history was to be re-written.And so it happened that the time-tables were issued and we steeled up for the calamity.
The fateful day happened,and as hapless as I'm,I ended up with the most abhorred 'Plumbing' section(atleast most abhorred by me,it is) and screwed it up big time!And the viva part,ha!why do I even try recollecting those catastrophic memories?!And so to speak,came the end of all the pain and ta-dah!the end of this post as well folks!
But before I wind up,I hope I haven't pissed off any exam-lover who chances by this post or scare off any of the forthcoming generations at engineering colleges.And if thy humble server has done so unwittingly,she offers her sincere unrepentance!!*buhahaha*
