The Farce They Call "Engineering"

Surreal is the way epiphany strikes you sometimes.Today it slapped me right across the face during my stint in the 6th hour of the academic day viz. NAS aka Network Analysis and Synthesis hour.The world around seemed to drown into oblivion as the 69 odd students around continued to banter away to glory without giving a damn to the lecturer of the hour who spoke barely above a whisper into the blackboard The S-Domain Analysis . That was when I had my moment of enlightenment which initiated a whole thought process and I struck upon the conclusion that engineering is nothing more than a mere farce in this sleazy era!Ironic the epiphany should strike right on "Engineer's Day".

A few decades back or atleast 1 decade back,engineering was one of the most sacred courses of the country and only the 180+ IQ people who had a true passion for it,flaunted the guts to choose the noble field.Not just that,but the engineering colleges themselves were low in integer and could be tipped off on fingers.Back then,private engineering colleges had not blatantly established themselves in every nook and corner of the country,making it impossible for one to even stretch their leg without poking an engineer in the ass!

De facto,its not just the private engineering colleges that must be made to take the onus for the declining standard of education,but also the lackluster attitude of the teachers,even in the govt. engineering colleges that contributes to this fact.Plus,the students who are ruthlessly thrown into the field by their exponentially ambitious parents who take out their frustration by mauling their own future.

Let me begin by drawing brickbats at the eminence of my own college(yeah,go ahead and sue me for this!):

For the uninitiated ones,I'm in the Govt. Engg college Barton Hill TVM,one among the 9 prestigious government engineering colleges in the state,doing my 3rd semester in Electrical and Electronics engineering.Now in my course,we've a total of 6 subjects viz.(misnomers clearly to protect the identity) :

• Where you play Scrabble with the numbers


• The paper dealing with plethora of circuits


• The place where you handle water in pipes


• The paper where networks befuddle you


• The paper where machines and generators rule the roost


• The subject which demands your managerial abilities(ostensibly,it has nothing to do with engineering)

Let's take the 1st one.The teacher slogs and toils in class to teach.But his lack of voice and prowess fail to garner the attention of many a student.And these ..ahem.."students" don't have an inkling of appreciation for the teacher's efforts and continue to spit jargon as if the teacher's non-existent!Honestly people!The teacher doesn't teach as penance!He ain't the one who's gonna end up with a supplimentary paper for the exam!

Now you might misconstrue me for a geek/nerd.I'm neither!Nor do I get stellar marks!I'm just another individual trying to procure a degree with decent records!

Secondly,let's take the "2nd one".Here a clean chit can be given to the students coz it's the teacher who's apparently mauling and murdering the subject.Keeping the nibs of your pens scratching the paper en route to making myriad notes is clearly the teacher's notion of engineering.Not a single technical aspect is expounded in class making students nauseatic with all the doubts and dilemmas!Not any more tho',the passion has died out.

The 3rd one,where once our educator went on the pursuit of a greater endeavour,substitutes kept playing games with the modules of learning.Seriously,the lack of a permanent teacher in the department is disheartening to say the least.

The 4th one-I'd rather not say anything out of the respect I hold for the subject and the teacher akin.The educator is a stupendously naive and gullible person.Out of the sheer guileless devotion for his profession ,he maintains sublime silence when the apes of the class continue with their eclectic activities ranging from rampant texting(fuck the free SMS offer) to playing cards-all unconspicously done beneath the wooden desks!And the fact that the teacher's inaudible,remains an all-time alibi with both the tuitioners and the non-tuitioners(no offence guys!Just outlining the facts).This hour would be the most pathetic testimony of the state engineering has to come to in these days.Sad it is.

The 5th and 6th hour are the best among the lot!Both the undergraduates plus the educators enjoy it alike(Now if there's anyone who finds even the 5th hour dull--get a life retard!).The 5th hour is the TRUE engineering hour!Here,the educator edifies the pupils on the brass tacks of the subject and makes the course worth learning!

So what I was actually getting to was,if this is the condition in the govt. colleges,what state do you contemplate the private colleges will be in?Genuinely lemme ask something.What motive do the ones have,who get into these pvt. colleges and then later on shower curses and spit epithets on the college and course??Is it the white-collar jobs that allure them?Or is it the parental pressure??Do they give up their dreams and join the league just because everyone else is into it?Tsk tsk...pitiable.

Now to this contention of mine,several might vociferously revolt that it is in the pvt colleges that learning takes place coz their teachers give them proper notes and answers to all the questions in the text book.My dear friend,it ain't learning.It's spoon feeding!They are dummies with no impetus to think for themselves!It ain't engineering that's happening out there...it's mere ranting of the theories and formulae!

And yes,here comes the pivotal question of all!!How many actually clear the course with a degree at the end of the 4-year spell?Some of the pvt. colleges in TVM city have pass percentage as low as 18% which is like the rock bottom!Why the fuck produce engineers like this?!?

Being an engineering student and knowing the conscientious nature of the course ,I'm forced to ponder why the govt. grants permission to the perenially growing number of pvt engineering colleges to come up in the state???Every academic year, a minimum of 3 new colleges are added to the already burgeoning list of engineering colleges.That too some are set up in the remotest of locations and all it takes is a bunch of crisp currency notes to do the trick.Clearly the govt. siphons off colossal quantity of money.It's sad to see education has come on par with gambling for the top honchos at the bureacratic level.

Last but not the least,if any parent happens to chance on this post,dear elder one,please do listen to your kid's psyche and give him a chance!Don't just join the rat race and churn out one of those specimens shown in the picture at the beginning of this post that these run-of-the-mill engineering colleges churn out year after year.Your kid's special just like everyone else's.Nurture his dreams and ambitions;not yours.

And at my fellow engineers-to-be:Only true passion can move mountains.Let's keep the effort coming and serve the nation.

Photo courtesy:http://www.funresearcher.com/

Ramblings Of An Exam Loather!

EXAMINATION-the painful phenomenon no mortal can make an escape from,the demon that grasps in its sordid clutches every homosapien from an arithmetic jock to the ignoramus sod, the one process whose results are eclectic-from the respect and admiration of peers(ie in case if you are a geek and get stellar marks) to the wrath of parents and teachers akin(on the flip side).And yes,my this post (after a hiatus)is dedicated to this man-made disaster.*Thank you*.

Since I just finished my 1st year at college,let me take you thro' the arduous journey of exams a.k.a the local massacre that I(and my breed) survived in the past one year.

The first year classes started off in the month of August,precisely on the 17th.The initial days were ubercool with discovering the motley group of students,making new pals,checking out the campus in general,sauntering over the place-yeah jobless days all right!Even the teachers were pretty much innocuous!Ah,those were the times.

Then came the first salvo,in the form of the 1st Series Exam that was to be held in the month of December.All hell broke loose!Now for the uninitiated ones:series exams carry a decent weightage of your internal marks,which vicariously affect your university marks and thus your fate.Now we've 10 papers,out of which 1 is the workshop and the rest viz-Maths(the only subject where I find some solace),Physics,Chemistry(which horrendously freaks out the shits from anyone!),Graphics(read:sure-to-fail-if-you-are-not-careful subject),Engineering mechanics,Basic Civil Engineering(pha!),Basic Mechanical Engineering(2 of my pals' favourite subject-ahem ahem you know I'm talking about you!),Basic Electrical Engg and last but not the least,Basic Communication and Information engineering.

Now this particular exam being the 1st of its kind, wasn't as disastrous as we expected.The authorities had decided to go easy on us *phew*.And to add icing to the cake,we were even exempted from the woes of the deadly workshop.Now some observations I couldn't help making during the course of the exam were:

1.The answer sheet you get for your series exam is the cheap quality,butter-paper sorta paper which is commonly used for wrapping samosas in sweet shops(ha!some quality they maintain in government instis).

2.The invigilators-some are passive,plain expressionless,insipid and even the rigorous copying and malpractise all over the place fails to elicit the faintest of responses from them.Well now such people are what I call "personae gratae".Then there is the 2nd category-the junta of teachers,with pronounced obnoxious features, whose sole objective is to make the life of their subjects miserable by giving icy cold stares,by handing over the question paper with much relish and in general,are mean for no particular reason.

3.Now this observation involves the students themselves!Here again,there are 4 kinds:

a)The arithmetic jocks/studs : yup!these are the geeks alright!So mad are they about mugging,mugging and more mugging,that the very purpose of their life is to study,write exams and ace all papers(not just arithmetic,but also the other subjects).Question papers produce the same greed and lust in them as an exposed,uncensored copy of Playboy would on ordinary mortals.

b)The extra-pious ones:the saints!such pain they are!The mere words-'copy' or 'cheat' leaves them scandalised,to say the least.Such high scruples they hold,that they all're fit to be contending for the next Swami Sri Sri Ravishankar(not that I'm someone who encourages malpractice;but heck!which teen would like 18-year-old demigods??Besides,a li'l bit of mutual abetting possesses no potential harm.Hmph!!).

c)The ordinary ones:like yours truly,me!Now we are the ones who slough off major fractions of the crap and are adroitly concise in our approach towards the subject(euphemism for skipping majority of the syllabus and cramming in the required chunks only at the ungodly hour) *thank-you*.And we don't give up hope till the last minute;which puts us largely at the mercy of the teachers who check the paper and most importantly,God Almighty(which explains our sporadic piety).

d)The smart alecks-and this category goes without any explanation(hell!you might have seen this sort yourselves!In your own classrooms!).

The 1st series exam was followed by a spasm of activity for our intercollegiate techno-cultural fest Aagneya.Not that we played a major part,but we helped in our own little way and thus the months flew by and then came the next nuclear holocaust in the form of 2nd series exam.Now this one caught us off-guard coz unlike the 1st time,we hadn't an iota of knowledge of any of the subjects!Our heads were point blank!Not having an inkling on what was to be done,again,I and my breed left it to God and let destiny play it's game.

This one passed off as quickly as the 1st one with 2 exams per day and the results ensued shortly.The marks were in retrograde(which goes without mentioning).This one was followed by the much dreaded Worshop models(that was just the trailer to a much macabre scenario that was to follow suit as the "University Workshop Exams").

Then came the mind-numbingly dull,excessively boring,lackadaisical period of STUDY LEAVE!Some leave it was man!Starting from April 1,slogging all the way till the 7th of May,when our university exams were to begin.Not that the hols were a total drag;they were definitely required for the exam preps(but hey,the kinda study leave we got,was too much a test of our endurance).

And thus began the saga of the great KU(Kerala University) exams and we moved on,united,forgetting all differences-en masse.Certain exams like Mathematics,Basic Electrical Engg, were a smooth sail whereas some like Chemistry,were Hiroshima and Nagasaki in paper.I swear there were days when I'd jump out of bed,drenched in sweat,the aftermath of the nightmare going round and round in my head.But as there's an end to every evil,even this vile phenomenon came to an end and the 66 odd undergraduates let out a collective sigh of relief.

The end of the KU exams was followed by an extremely L-O-N-G vacation of T-E-N DAYS!!(Mind you, measly 10 days!!)Appalling or what?!!And to add fuel to the already raging fire,the KU Workshop Exams were to take place before the start of the next sem,ie on the end of our "beautiful" vacation(wonder if the KU people actually conduct research on how to screw their subjects' lives).For the oblivious ones:chronicle has it that the WS exams are conducted only after the start of the next sem and not during our bubble-lived hols.But this time,by a quirk of fate,history was to be re-written.And so it happened that the time-tables were issued and we steeled up for the calamity.

The fateful day happened,and as hapless as I'm,I ended up with the most abhorred 'Plumbing' section(atleast most abhorred by me,it is) and screwed it up big time!And the viva part,ha!why do I even try recollecting those catastrophic memories?!And so to speak,came the end of all the pain and ta-dah!the end of this post as well folks!

But before I wind up,I hope I haven't pissed off any exam-lover who chances by this post or scare off any of the forthcoming generations at engineering colleges.And if thy humble server has done so unwittingly,she offers her sincere unrepentance!!*buhahaha*

A Kickass Trip,A Kickass Day!

DISCLAIMER:The following post contains the name of real,alive people in the author's life .It has been done in a sense of pure bonhomie and amiability.Ergo, the concerned people are beseeched to take it amicably and join in the spirit.The author offers her humble apologies for any kind of offence/hard feelings imparted unwittingly.


It all started with one of my closest pals cum girl-prodigy Thara having a brainwave that it was high time we had some fun and devised an idea for a class trip.It was this stroke of genius that initiated a chain reaction of frenzied activity,ultimately leading the bunch of EEE freakos to sit inside a 6-wheeler in the wee hours of the morning on 20th Feb '10 on an expedition to Veega Land.


The bus throbbed with life!!The adrenaline pump-contagious!!The enthusiasm-unbeatable!!The energy-mind blowing!!Even the floor of the bus vibrated with exuberance as the ambience of a discotheque was created with myriad colors flashing in the dark and all the 49 grooving away to glory as the defeaningly outrageous music exploded from the speakers(man that was a sight!).All sense of propriety was lost as the bipeds went wild to the beats of hip-hop/bolly mix and the ultimate dapangooth;and occasional howling and booing between the opposite races.



At 15 past 11, we disembarked at VL.Having collected our passes,we flew into the dressing rooms to change and came out all set to blow-up the place!The first ride to fall victim to us was the-'Vintage Tornado'.As soon as our chance came waiting in the eternal queue,four of us(3 buddies of mine and me)jumped in to the vehicle.As soon as the ride started,the four of us(being the hooligans we're)hooted and screamed away to glory and enjoyed the ride to shreds!


From there, we took off to the 'Twin Flip Monster'.Now this giant monstrous ride flips the riders in all random directions in futile attempts to jerk them off .The rider is literally somersaulted 360 degree in midair with the front-shield being the only support to carry ones' body weight. Even this potentially hazardous situation couldn't kill our gusto and allegiance towards GEC Barton Hill as we cheered on our insti and our inter-collegiate fest AAGNEYA by cries of "BOLO GECB/AAGNEYA KI: J-A-I!!",while hanging upside down in mid-air ;legs dangling precariously overhead(wow us!so much loyalty.GECB should be proud *thank you*)












Next came the mother of all rides-SPACE GUN!!!Now this is what I call a R-I-D-E!!Only a few bravehearts from our cluster could muster the courage to go at it(me being one of them *thank you again* ) .The very thoughts of this ride render me speechless;so not much insight into this except that here again, our conventional cries for GECB/EEE class filled the atmosphere;while stuck upside down in mid-air about some 20 feet from ground-level(loyalty can kill,take it from me).

After this,we headed for a simple meal of plain rice and curry[albeit we craved for veg-biriyani
(being the foodies we're)but finally,we regained civil sense and stuck to the modest cuisine].From there, we took to the water rides;the first one being "Rapid River" where we rested on the water-tubes floating in the shallow waters(now this sight actually reminded me of buffalos lazing around in water *ha ha*-no offence!).

After having a gala time there, we headed off to the "Vertical fall".Now this ride (for me)is one story to tell!!This ride consists of a steep vertical slide/fall which ends in a shallow pool of water.You relax/recline yourself on your back at the top and then come gushing down at lightening pace and fall into the water.There's a specific posture to keep your body in while you're traveling down :arms crossed over chest;legs crossed and head slightly tilted forward so that it doesn't bang against the slide when you reach the bottom.Now me being the idiotic,stupid fool that I'm, I totally forgot about the head-tilted-forward part.I reclined backwards completely and laid my head down on the slide and lay there like an absolute dead body.The instructor pushed my head forward and WHOOSH!I went down in a flash.But as I neared the bottom,all thanks to my clumsy posture,BANG!my head hit real hard against the slide and there was a total black-out within my head!Upon reaching the end of the slide,I landed in sitting position at the bottom of the pool;utterly stupified and totally oblivious to the calls of Nitu and Thara(my pals) who were standing nearby and screaming for me to get out and make way for another pal Divya who was to come down after me.While I sat there all dumb,hurt and nonplussed,the instructor overhead wondered about my psychological steadiness(D-U-H).Soon, I regained composure and we headed towards some other water riders including Fun Glider,Family Ride,Turbo Sphere et cetera.

And after that,at around 4 in the evening we turned our tracks towards the star-attraction,the show-stopper, the one,the only:WAVE POOL!!After having an outrageous time there,splashing away to glory and pulling stuff under water *wink*, we headed back towards the changing rooms to regain normalcy.And at 7,we bid adieu to the place and thus ended one-great-trip.

But oh,before I wind up,this post would be incomplete if I don't mention a phenomenon of our S12 EEE class without whom the trip would have been void.The one who rocks to the core,the one ultra-phenomenon,the one who puts even Michael Jackson to shame with his lethal moves,the epitome-of-an-ideal-son,every society's dream-citizen,Mr.Nakul!Thanks to this brother-to-all guy for having made the trip one big episode to cherish!

And yes,here are some important people coz of who the trip was quite a coup!
Vipin Krishnan,Thanzeer MR,Sreehari and all those guys who ran day and night after the teachers,the HOD,making facilities for the trip and took up all the responsiblility to make 20 FEB '10 possible!Kudos to you guys!

And last but not the least,heartfelt gratitude to Gopakumar sir,his wife,his angelic kids and Kichu sir and his friend who escorted us and provided us with all the guidance and boosted our morale throughout the journey.

THANK YOU one and all :) :)

My Maiden Attempt At The Tube aka T-V!!

As the title so cornily suggests, the following post is all about my first attempt at grabbing some footage on the much renowned, popular infotainment of a chat-show viz."TALKING POINT" which conducts heated debates and discussions on contemporary issues on the youth-icon channel of South India-ROSEBOWL.


Ok now let's rewind a bit and start afresh from the very beginning of that fateful day....


Feb 5, '10(Friday)

I'd just hurriedly finished my breakfast,made a dig for my bag and ran outta the house to catch an auto to college expecting my day to be uneventful(read:tedious) as ever.After reaching the insti and the usual round of preliminaries with friends, the 66 odd students settled for the (perenially boring)classes.

T'was my not-so-favorite hour taken by Mr.X when some senior pops into class and informs the arrival of the Rosebowl people in search of audience for their talk-show "Talking Point".Being the opportunist that I'm(euphemism for I-hate-the-hour-so-anything-to-get-out-of-it),I sprang up from my seat and showed profound interest and feigned intellect(anything to get out of class!).Impressed at my absolute inquisitiveness for current affairs(ha!),the ever-mellow Mr.X permitted me leave and free attendance!!Ergo accompanied with some cronies(who were hesitant initially,but being partners-in-crime,they followed suit) and a few batchmates,we set out for the Rosebowl studio situated at Bakery Junction on the royal Scorpio(offered by the RB people).

On reaching the premises of the studio,we were ushered in by the Rosebowl fraternity.Our group-supervisor showed us the way to the main studio and lo!we were inside THE studio which I hadn't even in my wildest dreams thought of setting foot on!!The celebs/experts for the talk had already arrived and were seated on the theatre like chairs.

At about half-past 12, the bigwigs were made to sit on the royal,pompous, pure-white couches on the podium and we, had to sit on the black step-like hardwood seating straight opposite to them with "Talking Point" written on a raised platform in the middle.In came the supervisor-guy again to get us acquainted with the topic for that episode which was: the more-popular-than-SRK, familiar-to-every-household, Kerala's-own-progeny subject: "HARTAL".We exchanged furtive glances and made mental notes on what to say if the mike by any means(of which chances were slim)should come to our hands.

Then came THE moment when the divine diva aka the host-of-the-show aka Ms.Indian Shakira (tho' she had nothing remotely to do with belly dancing or even more remotely to singing,Shakira's image was what popped into my head on seeing her-an overdose of Hips dont lie I presume),glided-in in the most elegant manner humanly possible.She had a ravishing smile, enthralling eyes..oh crap!let me cut it short!She was ultimate beauty personified!!I wasn't surprised to see(outta the corner of my eye) the testosterone-freaks sitting in the audience ogling at her(since it's been proven scientifically that men lose all sense of propriety around stunners).


Now the experts for the talk were:

1.Mr.Cherian Philip(Chairman,KTDC)

2.Mr.B.S.Shekhar(Politician,BJP)

3.Mr. Respectful guy(sorry I don't remember his name)

4.Mr.Sanjeev(Editor,Manorama) aka Mr.Cosmopolitan

As soon as Ms.Dhanya Varma(the host I mentioned earlier),stepped onto the podium,the plethora of lights surrounding us,all over the roof and around us sprang to life and blinded us(atleast me) and the innumerous(not innumerous exactly;I was too lazy too count)cameras started rolling and presto! the shoot had started!!Dhanya started the show neatly with the usual introduction,in a voice that exuded confidence,style and exuberance.The first round was the one where only the experts were to do the talking and the audience was to listen passively(read:audience had to be noncommittal ).And so we sat there nonchalantly while the altercation followed.

Next came the 'Interaction' or rather "Q & A" round where we could pop questions at the luminaries;which was when absolute brouhaha broke out with questions and answers whizzing across the room .Now here, the spotlight turns on me(thank you!).By some quirk of fate,I (without exactly intending to do so)wielded the mike(from a friend's hand) and spoke into it.I went,"Blah blah blah hartal yada yada" with the host rigorously nodding her head at me (in agreement to whatever crap I blabbered) and one of the experts answered my query. I was like *phew* done!Next the mike went to a buddy's hand and she asked something quite genuine(unlike me;coz I don't even remember what I spoke *sheesh*).And with that,Dhanya declared the end of the show and they wound up,thanking the experts for having made their presence and actively participating(no one thanked us tho'-ha!).

Now on that note, it's time to wind up this post as well with me hoping against hope that they don't edit the part where I spoke and it's aired making the title of this post come alive ie my first attempt at the TV!! :)

PS:I know it's a long post;so thanks if you survived till the end :D